


You were my brother, Ben!

by AhsokaBonteri



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Brothers, F/M, Gen, Kylo Ren Backstory, Protective Older Brothers, Romance, Skywalker Family Drama, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-05-17 09:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14830023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AhsokaBonteri/pseuds/AhsokaBonteri
Summary: -	Do you want me to be your brother? Then you will not be alone anymore. - And in all seriousness, which only a five-year-old kid is capable of, Ben added. - No one should ever be alone.Poe threw up his curly head and stared at Ben with such sincere gratitude, to which only the pure-souled children are capable.AU - where Poe's parents was both died not only his mother.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Реван](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13259472) by [pino_cchio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pino_cchio/pseuds/pino_cchio). 



> This is my first work in English (this is a translation of my original work).  
> And this is my first work for a long time.  
> I just can't keep this idea, wanted to write this and share.  
> All the glory to the fantastic person Pino_cchio. Her story about Ben and Rey (and others) inspared me, make me belive in fanfiction again.  
> I translated it by myself, sorry for grammar mistakes.  
> I will be posting this story by small chapters (originally chaptes are longer, but i translate it in a very slow temp. English is not my native language).  
> Please, be kind and let me know if you find this story interesting.

[an hour after the Battle of Crait. Millennium Falcon]

\- I ... I don’t like to remember that time. You know, in books and movies, the authors often use the reception with rain. When the sky drizzly drizzles, the clouds are gray, and the heroes of history on this bleak background have some trouble. In days of our grief, there was no rain, and the sky shimmered with all the shades of azure and seemed to be painted by the happy hand of a talented artist. It was warm, damn, the damn weather was delightful! We were just flying to Hanna City, Han Solo for some time entrusted me with the co-pilot's seat and grumbled that he still does not trust me after "your trip to Florrum with Ben." Leia was talking with Chewie, when she suddenly jumped in horror and, clutching her heart, shouted "Nooooo!" and then went limp and would fall, but she was caught by Wookiee. She came to herself only at home, not without the help of C-3PO and his meager medical knowledge.  When Leia opened her eyes, I was frightened - they were so evil and scary. "He turned to the Dark Side. He k… killed ... ev-everyone ... "Leia said this, looking Han in the eye, she did not even pay attention to Chewie or me. Han said nothing, just stood silently and left the room, Chewie followed him, demanding howling, trying to get answers. I didn’t ask Lea anything. We stayed in the silence and darkness of her room until the next morning. And then ... Luke arrived. And then… Han was the first, who breaks in tears and fury - he yelled, crashed everything around him, punched Skywalker in the face, swung at me, but did not dare to hit. And spitting cruel words to Luke and Leia "fucking genes of Vader", General Solo grabbed his blaster and left Chandrilla. He never returned to his house. Leia didn't scream at Luke, but she looked at him with such disappointment, I felt so much grief around us ... with her lips twisted from sorrow, the quiet broken "Why?". But Luke did not add anything in his confused story about the conflict of Darkness and Light, about his mistake (what mistake - none of us didn’t understand) and about the temple of the New Order of the Jedi on fire. Skywalker mumbled something about the exile, about what he needed to "turn to the original source." At this point, Leia finally lost her nerves. She grabbed her brother in the collar of her tunic, shook him and said: "Do not you dare to leave me! Are you a new Yoda? Exile ?! We must fix it all! YOU have to fix everything !!! " She fainted again, and this time I had to catch her. Luke flew away before she woke up. 3PO mumbled something, and P2 just turned off. I fell asleep right on the floor by Leia's bed, and when I woke up, the sun was shining too bright outside the windows. Leia sat on the bed, clasping her knees to her knees with both hands, and I realized in horror that her whiskey had silvered gray. She aged just a couple of days. She quiet addressed me: "The First Order. I need you to get me ALL the information about this organization and their leader ... and about his new apprentice. I. Need. To. Know. His. Name. " That day I heard about Snoke for the first time, Leia said the word "Resistance", the head of the Alliance half-jokingly called her a general, and scandalous articles about the dark knight Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer, began to leak into the holonet. Oh ... I remember how I lost my senses, a few weeks later, we’ve got a record of the massacre, arranged by a tall man dressed in black tunic, whose face was hidden by an ugly mask. I ... was drinking all night. I  filled the glass and immediately emptied it, inventing excuses for him, myself, the Galaxy, Master Skywalker, the Force ... And the further, the worse I felt, I wanted to howl, I wanted to tear my own heart out of my chest. Ben is dead! My named brother, my best friend, died. When I could convince myself of this, it became easier to live. It became easier to make war. Looking into Leia's eyes became easier. But, bloody hell, Rey, after what you said, I ... I don’t know what to do, what to think. He was my brother! We grew up together. You can’t give me this hope just me to lose it again. I will not survive this pain one more time.

Rey reached out and squeezed the pilot's shoulder.

\- Ben didn’t die, as his Light did not fade.

\- But the Dark Side ...

\- The Force is woven from Light and Darkness. And he knows it, he ... we ... Poe, we just need a some time to get things right. Believe me.

Dameron exhaled noisily and nodded slightly nervously. Rey sent him a tired smile and looked from his gloomy face a little higher. She managed to see the shape of Ben, he appeared and immediately disappeared, and she could fell sadness and pain through the Bond, a quiet whisper " _he was my brother_ " for a long time sounded in Rey's ears.


	2. Chapter 1. Bad dream.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worried mama.  
> Scared boy.  
> Really bad dreams.

[25 years earlier, Hanna City, Chandrilla]

The noise of merry people, burning their youth in parks and eateries, loud laughter of drunken pilots of the Alliance, a measured buzz of speeding taxi-speeders, buzzing droids and multitudinous sounds were filling hot summer nights in the capital of the New Republic.  All mixed up in the fanciful music of the big city, rose from the bottom up to the skyscrapers, reflected from polished walls and windows of glass buildings.

Hanna-City at first glance seemed beautiful and welcoming place, like a well thought out advertising poster of a peaceful, bright future. The one for which not so long ago millions of Alliance fighters gave their lives, and at the same time they took the lives of the same millions of imperial soldiers and officers, but there was no talk about this in the capital of the New Republic. There are no executions or military courts in Chandrilla. Here there were no prisons and camps for the followers of the Empire. Trade Federations were allowed only small representations, and the Senate, built up for a new one in all senses, dealt exclusively with "peaceful matters for the benefit of the Galaxy". The Senate was holding public meetings, which is why the Holonet has no lack of spicy articles, hot gossip and amazing stories. Opened three years ago The Academy already boasted the first graduates, former generals and heroes of the Galactic Civil War found honorary posts in a number of newly established departments.

Han Solo hated this planet exactly as much as his new position of "someone there is something about the pilots" ... Han did not even try to remember how his " _title_ " sounds now, that terribly infuriated his wife. There was only one advantage in his new, _official_ job (to burn in hell all these meetings!): he was the boss, which means he could afford frequent “business trips”, of course, not on an official ship, but on the "Falcon", of course not in the company of employees, but only with the trusted first assistant Chewbacca. Leia, with an enviable periodicity, tried to explain to Han that his "trips" looked ridiculous and not professional, but even she could not deny the fact that her husband was often able to obtain more information than the whole spy department of Alliance.

Leia Organa-Solo fell in love with the noisy Chandrilla. This planet was a place somehow similar to the usual Coruscant. The presence of mountains and forests on the continent, reminded her of Alderaan. And Leia was grateful for the opportunity to return to her natural habitat - politics. With the support of the leader Mon Mothma, Senator Organa built a dizzying career for the five years, deserving a very justifiable comparison with the legendary senator from Naboo Padmé Amidala. Between themselves, sitting in the kitchen, Han and Leia, sometimes laughed of the comparisons between Leia and Padmé, only the most lazy journalists did not go about this topic.

\- Well at least, they do not compare you to dear daddy! - Han grinned and immediately added. - Although Luke is the one who gets all Skywalker-legacy-songs.

\- The main thing is that in all-scribbling everywhere there was "Anakin", instead of ... well, you know. - Leia laughed as well.

As for Luke Skywalker, he was a frequent visitor on Chandrilla, but he did not become a resident of the planet. Han always rejoiced at the arrival of his friend, Leia fluttered around his brother like a butterfly these days, and the senators shuddered with anticipation of another meeting and lecture about the followers of the Force, the need to restore the Jedi Order and other mystical things that somehow demanded huge financial investments from the Alliance. The Jedi Master almost always left Hanna-City with a scandal and a replenished credit account, the construction of the new Jedi Temple was progressing surprisingly quickly.

There was another member of the family of Skywalkers-Solo, who had his own opinion about his native Chandrilla. The baby Solo generally at all and always had an opinion.

Ben Solo often could not sleep on the hot summer nights, when the city's noise was mixed with the smell of ozone and flowers that his mother cultivated on the open terrace just outside the windows of his bedroom. The heavy aromas of rare Alderaan lilies and Correlian roses, which had not yet absorbed the last drops of the rain that had just passed, caused troubling thoughts in a five-year-old boy. At such times, he somehow always thought of desert planets, like Tatooine.

_There is absolutely no water ... and there are no flowers either, and cities like the capital._

The boy closed his eyes, trying to drive away all extraneous thoughts.

 _Breathe_ , Uncle Luke said, _just breathe_ , _feel the energy around you_...

Seconds stretch incredibly long. Gradually, the noise of the city subsided, the suffocating smell of flowers and the images of the desert planets receded into the background, Ben saw the darkness of the space. There were unknown planet and two moons, Alliance warships and star destroyers of the Empire Shard. There was a battle. Ben saw the x-wing, separated from the group, come in at the peak, as if intending to attack the flagship of the enemy fleet. The fire of all the cannon's guns fell upon a tiny ship, but the pilot deftly withdrew from every volley. At this time, his squadron, grouped and attacked the remaining without fire cover heavy imperial bombers. Destroying ships filled with fuel and explosives flew to the sides, touching floppy flagships, bringing chaos and confusion to the ranks of the imperial fleet.

The flight of the brave pilot lasted a one more minute, and then ... BOOM!

Ben sat up abruptly, his whole little body trembling with horror.

\- Mama! - A desperate cry came from his lips.

In the corridor, the light caught fire, and after a few moments, Leia ran into the son's bedroom.

\- It's all right, Ben. It's just a nightmare.

If she was worried, she did not show it. Senator Organa Solo crouched on the edge of her son's bed and gently hugged his shoulders, stroked the boy over the black curls.

\- Mama. - Said Ben seriously. - Something bad has happened. I’ve seen…

He hesitated, suddenly embarrassed. His mother was always upset when Ben dreamed too realistic nightmares. Usually, these were not nightmares, but visions of a future or very recent past. Moreover, for some reason they are always joyless. The Force was strong with him, strengthened, showing him all these terrible pictures of war and violence.

" _What for_? _Does not that breed in his chest fear and cruelty_? _The path to the Dark Side_... "- Leia was anxious at such moments.

-What did you see, sweetheart?

\- The battle. The Alliance defeated many of the Imperial ships.

-That's good news, Ben. The more victories our soldiers win, the calmer the life on the planets of the New Republic, such as Chandrilla, will be.

-But Mom ... the pilot died. I’ve seen it. Why he has to die?

Leia seemed imperturbable, but she could hardly restrain the horror growing in her heart. What exactly did her son see? Who sacrificed his life for the victory this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in the next chapter Ben will meet Poe for the first time.  
> Ben is 5 years old, Poe - is about 8


	3. Chapter 2. Cracked Vase.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two boys.  
> Big decision.  
> Mom and Dad.  
> ... and cracked vase.

[10 ABY, Hanna City, Chandrilla]

Leia tried to get Ben to talk about something else. At first, after questioning the boy in detail about his dream, Leia carefully took the conversation away in the direction of the adventures and battles that she, Luke and Han had endured. It always helped. Of course, Organa always talked about how they deftly eluded the storm troopers, omitting details about Han's torture, Lando's double game, the circumstances of Luke's severed hand and many other unpleasant moments. She recalled how Han rushed into the asteroid field, how Chewie repaired 3PO or how P2 repeatedly saved their lives.

Two hours passed.

-Father is back. - Ben whispered in the middle of the story of the city in the clouds.

Literally, in a second Leia heard the voice of the protocol droid, coming from a corridor.

\- Master Han! How glad I am to see you alive and...

\- Shut up and take care of our guest. - Han barked.

Leia and Ben looked at each other.

\- Be here! - Leia said sternly.

The senator rose hastily and left the room. Ben sat quietly for several long seconds, and then, slipping out of bed, tiptoed to the corridor. Young Solo saw 3PO neatly carrying someone in his arms to the guest room. Waiting until the protocol droid leaves the room, muttering something about “tea, cakes and a hot bath”, Ben slipped inside. A boy with very curly dark hair and tanned skin was sleeping on the bed. Ben looked carefully at his face and made several conclusions at once: firstly, this boy is older, and, secondly, he cried recently.

Ben suddenly decided that stare at the guest is not polite and wanted to leave. He had already turned to the door when he heard a hoarse voice:

\- I am not sleeping.

-I'm sorry, I did not mean to interfere.

Ben turned and with interest and an anxious stared at the dark-haired boy, who leaned against the wall and slowly circled the room with the gaze of brown eyes. Meanwhile, it was getting light. The dawn was approaching.

\- You're Ben Solo, aren't you? Son of General Solo and Senator Organa? - The guest asked, squinting at Ben at the door.

\- Yes. You?..

\- My name is Poe Dameron.

\- Are you the son of Commander Dameron?

\- Yes, I am.

\- Why are you here?

Ben asked a question, knowing the answer in advance. Force whispered to him. However, Poe did not hurry with the answer. He turned away from Ben and for a long time peered at something, that it seemed, only he can see - somewhere beyond the blurred horizon of an awakening city

-My father died a few hours ago. - Finally said Poe. His voice faltered, but the boy held back his tears.

\- And where is your ...

\- Mom? My mother died a long time ago. I am all alone…

At the last word his voice broke. Ben watched young Dameron trying not to sob, hiding his face with both palms.

For a moment Ben tried to imagine, what he would feel if Han and Leia were dead. A five-year-old child is still not quite get the concept of death or transition to another form of Force, but everything he understood from Uncle Luke's explanations boiled down to a simple formula: death is pulling your loved ones out of your life. If parents die, there will be no more warm embraces of Mom, nor flights on the Falcon with his father ... Startled by the icy horror, Ben in three jumps found himself near Dameron, he put his hand on Poe's shoulder. Solo said:

\- Do you want me to be your brother? Then you will not be alone anymore. - And in all seriousness, which only a five-year-old kid is capable of, Ben added. - No one should ever be alone.

Poe threw up his curly head and stared at Ben with such sincere gratitude, to which only the pure-souled children are capable.

At that moment, C-3PO entered the room.

\- Oh, Master Ben! What are you doing here, sir? You must sleep, too early for wakefulness. Moreover, it is not polite to bother our guest. Young master Poe needs sleep and rest.

\- 3PO! What the bloody Hutt are you talking so loud?! Ben must be sleeping ... Oh, hello, kid!

Following the golden droid, Han entered into the guest bedroom. He tried to smile, but it turned out badly.

\- Ok, boys, I see you've obviously already met ... Leia! - Han looked out into the corridor. - Leia! You should start to make breakfast, boys don’t sleep. Yes, both of them. And why should we wait? It's almost dawn.

Leia shouted something back, but Ben could not make out what it was. Saying to 3PO " _Go out and help the princess_ ", Han went to the boys and, squatting next to his son, asked.

\- Did I wake you up, Ben?

\- No, I woke up earlier.

Han frowned, but did not continue to ask questions. Instead, he turned to Poe.

\- It's still very early, but since everyone is not sleeping, let's go eat. Then Leia will help you dressed and then we’ll have to go to the Council. We need to solve many important issues today about you, Poe.

Winking at the two boys, Han left the room. Poe jumped off the bed and was about to follow Han when Ben blocked his path.

-So what do you say? Will we be brothers?

Poe seemed to be embarrassed.

-I ... I would like, but you have a mom and a dad, and I ... probably in the Council decide to send me to the Academy.

\- Students is accepted to The Academy with 11, less often with 10. And you are ... how old are you? 7 or 8?

\- Almost 8.

\- If I ask my parents, will you stay with us? Will you be my older brother?

Poe smiled.

\- I would really like to.

Ben nodded seriously. Then, taking elder boy by the hand, Solo led him into the kitchen.

Han and Leia were discussing something in a low voice, but when the boys entered the kitchen, the conversation broke off and the adults tried to smile.

\- Boys, we have bread and fruit from Naboo, what do you ...

\- Mama! - Ben interrupted Organa. Leia noted the notes of steel in his voice. - Poe remains to live with us.

Leia paused in mid-sentence. Han raised his eyebrow and stared at his wife.

\- Dad, you do not send Po to the Academy or in another family or where else, don’t you? - Ben asked belligerently.

No one noticed - the vase, which was standing on the window, cracked.

\- Kid, listen. It’s great that you care about others, but the decision is up to the Council, not us. - Han said sadly.

Poe closed his eyes, Leia hurried to hug him.

-Poe, What do you want? - She asked gently.

\- He's my older brother now! He will stay with us! – little Ben clenched his fists.

The crack in the vase gave offshoots.

\- Kid ...

\- Ben ...

\- I want to stay with you and be friends with Ben! - Poe blurted out and blushed profusely. Then, raising a timid look at Leia, Poe said:

\- I'm not asking you to adopt me, do not think badly of me. I won’t cause any problems. I promise. My father always told me that you are the best people in the galaxy. I just ... I want to be the student of the Academy and become a pilot, like Mom and Dad.

Leia looked up at Han and bit her lip, trying not to let the tears come to her eyes. Han ran his hand through his hair, combing his unruly curls back, and grinned.

\- Ok, listen up, people. That is the plan: Breakfast, dressing, the Council. Then we'll start preparing a room for you, Poe.

Ben smiled victoriously, climbed onto a chair and stared at the protocol droid, who was holding a kettle:

-3PO, what are waiting for? We all want to eat.

\- Of course, of course, Master Ben!

Han sat down heavily in his chair and smiled sadly at Leia, who had sat opposite him.

Finished the breakfast, the boys ran to Ben's room. C-3PO awkwardly followed them.

\- Not so fast, Master Ben, Master Poe! Oh, Maker, and where is R2 when I need him so badly?

As soon as they were alone, Han grinned.

-Well, my dear almost-adept... Did you want a second child? Here it is.

Leia stares at her husband with anger.

\- Han! Think sometimes what you say!

\- What?

\- So, you think, that my desire for a second child somehow made this mess? Killed Poe’s father and led the boy to our fami…

-Leia! - Now it was Han's turn to get angry. - Of course that is not what I'm saying! Do not change my words! Dameron was my friend and I grieve for him no less than you do. You know, for me it will be an honor to raise Poe as a son. I owe to Dameron. The attack was led by him, and not by me, I was thrown to another mission at the last moment. Today could well be my funeral, not his.

Clink! From the hand of Leia fell a plate and flew into a pile of small fragments.

\- Do not say that! - She said harshly. - I can't stand the thought, if you…

Han got up and approached his wife, gave her a gentle hug. She was so small, so fragile in his hands.

-I'm not going to die. I always find my way back to you! I promise.

\- Even when I’ll get old and my temper will get even worse? - Leia snorted.

\- Especially when you grow old! - Laughed Han. - And speaking about your temper… Can it deteriorate even more? I don't think so. There is impossible.

Leia pressed her cheek to his chest. Persistent, even insolent, the sound of his brave heart was the favorite music of Senator Organa. She knew that Han will always fight for her, for Ben, Luke, the Alliance, the whole damn Galaxy. Not long ago, the Senator from Onderon told her, "Senator Organa, do you really think that the wars are over? The Empire is in a hurry to unknown regions, who knows what they can find there? The Allies? The Sith? Do not you think that our peaceful years are just a calm before _The_ _Storm_? "

 _Even if so,_ Leia thought _. While Han is by my side..._

An hour later Han, Leia, Ben and Poe were going to leave the residence of Organa-Solo. A former smuggler came out on the platform to prepare for the departure (he checked the five-seated maxi-speeder); Leia was giving instructions to C-3PO, while Poe, visibly nervous, was waiting her in the corridor. Ben stood right next to him.

\- Everything will be fine. When we get back - let's start preparing a holo-projection for your father's funeral. – Ben said to Poe. - I have all the tools and details. Chewie will come in the evening, helps us.

\- And if they send me to the orphanage? - Poe bit his lip.

\- _They will not_. **_They will not dare_**. – There was a threat and something else in the quiet voice of the Solo kid. Dameron shivered.

The vase on the kitchen window shattered into small pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is end of original chapter 1.  
> The next time we can see Solo-family in almost five years.  
> Ben will be about 10, Poe is about 13.


	4. Chapter 3. 1st Flying license

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "New" speeder.  
> Upset boy.  
> Worried uncle.  
> And... The voice

_[Shortly before the 10th anniversary of Galactic Concordance. Chandrilla]_

Leia joked once that if someone give Ben a speeder, he would be happy. Han remembered these words and a few month before the next son’s birthday Han brought him the engine. And the steering wheel, and the frame, and the damper, and stabilizer. And much more. The funniest thing - all these details were from _different_ speeders. Where Han collected all this rubbish - could only guess, and Leia decided not to ask.

Ignoring his wife's fierce gaze, Han dragged all the staff into the garage. The next two weeks, Leia hardly saw her husband, her son, her brother, who came to visit Solo-family. All three enthusiastically collected and dismantled the glands, trying to construct something that would be able to levitate. Chewie, naturally, took the most direct part in creating the " _new_ " speeder.

\- Come on, Chewie!

Wookiee connected several wires; there was a crackling, then hum and - op! - fragile construction came to life.

\- It works! It is flying! – Ben was full of pure joy. He jumped and smiled widely.

Grinning gust a minute ago Luke suddenly became serious. He remembered Obi-Wan's diaries (which he found on Tatooine in the old Jedi's house. It was when he and Leia rescued Han from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt). In these diaries, magister Kenobi often recalled the past and his Padawan, Anakin. "Obi-Wan, look, it works! It is flying!". Luke did not know these memories, he only read about them. But why did the black-haired nephew so vividly remind him of Luke's father? Skywalker suddenly feel sad and worried.

\- All right, Chewie, turn it off, or we'll burn another transmitter. - Han grunted, smiling while he’s watching his son.

Ben was hastily writing down on the holopad.

\- When Poe returns for the holidays, he will not believe his eyes. – The young Solo grinned. – Where is mom? I want to make her look at my _flying_ speeder. She did not believe that we could make it work. Now she definitely owes me a trip to Naboo.

With a joyful howl, the boy jumped out of the garage and ran off to look for Leia.

\- Naboo’s vacation. - Han grunted with pleasure.  - This boy will not miss his profit.

Luke crossed his arms over his chest and stared at his old friend.

-Han, I'm going back to the Temple soon and ...

\- _Do not_ even start this conversation, Luke. I’ve already told you. No! He's still too young!

Solo threw a condemningly malicious glance at Luke. Skywalker took a deep breath and sadly lowered his eyes.

-Han ... Han, you know that eventually the time of his training will come.

\- My friend, you've been teaching him since he was born. Every time you come, there are talks about the nature of the Force and a bunch of all that nonsense. Both of you are meditate so that the whole house goes shaky. - Solo unscrewed a couple of gears, hurt his finger, cursed and continued, throwing a glance at his wife's brother. - By the way, I saw a lightsaber drawing. Ben himself showed it to me when last year I took him to Felucia. What else are you going to teach him? How to move the stones by the power of thought? How to fight on swords? How to shooting to the stormtroopers' heads? Or maybe you are planning started to looking for new Sith?

Skywalker raised his hands in conciliation.

-Han, what we do with Ben is not a full-fledged training. Ben is extremely talented. He needs a mentor. He needs control.

Solo frowned. The freedom-loving former smuggler could hardly tolerate the word "control." Laying aside the tools, the man turned to Skywalker with his whole body.

-Here we go ...- Han drawled, straightening up and approaching Luke at arm's length. - Well, Leia and I do not control him. Right?

The Jedi smirked and smacked his hands theatrically.

\- Tell me, how do you manage to race through countless planets in search of information for the Alliance and profitable deals for yourself, sit on endless briefings of the Senate, take dozens of official delegations, support the surviving Alderaans, constantly fight with each other, and spend time with your son? Ah, yes – _you don’t_!

Han clenched his fists and angrily whispered.

\- This is not true!

\- Oh, really? Friend, how often have you been at home in the past six months, eh? A month in total? Less?

Luke's disappointment manifested itself not only in his stare. Some items in the garage had come off their seats and shot up a couple of centimeters. Chewbacca issued a worried growl, but both of men did not react at all.

\- Leia is always … at home and ... - Han began, but Luke snapped him abruptly.

-Leia is always at work! Damn Senate! She is too busy fixing order in the Galaxy and arguing with you, and there is only 3PO, who’s always at home! After Poe Dameron became student of the Academy, Ben was left alone. It is been two whole years! His thoughts are confused; emotions are uncontrollable; the Force is very strong with him, and it became even stronger every single day! This is dangerous, Han! Ben is not a funny little boy you wants him to be. Without a mature adept-mentor, it will be more difficult for him to cope with the influence of the Force. Just try to imagine what will happen if the Dark Side seduces him. Han, he does not confess to anyone, but the boy has nightmares...

Han shrugged off. Literally waved his hand and held out "Aaaah!"

Luke clearly intended to say something else, but Leia's voice made him turn around.

-... don’t even think about it, Ben. I said _No_!

\- But mom, Poe got first flying license when he was nine years old, _why cannot I_?

When Leia and Ben entered the garage both looked equally angry.

" _This evil look he inherited clearly from Leia ..._ " - Han thought, but then in the head of the former smuggler there was an unintended idea "... _or from grandfather Anakin, who knows_ ..."

\- Dad! - Ben was furious. The boy went to his father, his disheveled black hair funny jumped with each clumsy step. - Mom forbids me to apply for the first flying license. It's not fair! When you were on Onderon with Poe, he got the license there. He was younger then I am now.

\- First of all: Poe was almost 10! - Leia's voice began to rise. - Two: I was initially against this wild idea. If your father had taken a responsibility in time ...

-That's enough, Leia! Stop it! - Han barked and put his hand on his son's shoulder. - Kid, let's make a deal, you'll go study for license in a year, this will be my gift to you ..."

\- A whole year?! Ben's eyebrows shot up, the hydro-wrench bent in half.

Luke bit his lip and smiled grimly at his thoughts.

-Ben, let us try not to upset your mom, ok? - Han tried to smile, but his son frowned and shrugged his shoulders, dumping his father's palm.

-Arrrrgh! PPr! Aaaarg!

For persuasiveness, Chewie threatened Han and Leia with a furry fist. Everyone looked at him. Suddenly Ben  laughed. Adults began to laugh after him.

\- Ah! Grrr arch!

The situation (thanks to the Force) was solved.

***

Han and Chewie flew away three days after the assembly of the speeder, Luke also did not stay long. Skywalker was quietly talking about something with Leia, then he embraced Ben, asked him to think about moving to the Temple of the new Jedi Order.

-I'll be back in two months, on your birthday. I'll leave R2 here. I’m afraid C-3PO is missing his old astro-mechanic friend so much, that he will attack me with the claims next time.

R2 held out an indignant trill and rolled away from Luke for half a meter.

-Master Luke, sir, I am always very glad to see you and my old friend R2-D2. However, if you need R2 for the most important Jedi business, I'll understand everything.

Leia laughed and, patting her brother's shoulder, whispered:

\- Go now. Or 3PO will start in looong speech.

Luke hugged his sister, shook his hand a bit depressed Ben and hurried to his X-Wing.

Ben stayed for a long time on the parking platform, with unseeing eyes examining the buzzing city. R2 stood by him; old droid released nervous trills from time to time with no respect to noise, a big city, blunt cleaning droids and an annoying 3PO.

Ben didn’t listen. He was thinking about his uncle's word of warning. The boy understood that eventually (and better, apparently, sooner) he would have to move to Master Skywalker’s Temple and begin to comprehend the ways of the Force properly. However, for some reason this way seemed so _wrong_.

Young Solo often tried to imagine himself as a Jedi. Tall as a father, clever as a mother, in a white-gray-brown Jedi robe, with a blue or green lightsaber in his hands. And ... he could not. Persistently he could not. The image was formed and immediately melted. All he saw was a tunic black as night, a hood of dense and coarse cloth, and bright flashes of scarlet blade.

\- Ben, where are you? Dinner is ready.

The mother's voice yanked the boy out of meditation. Or was it a dream? Unclear. Ben got up, stretched and was already halfway to the entrance of the house, as _this_ _voice_ appeared in his head.

_Black and red. Your colors ... are the colors of a true Sith. New Vader ..._

Solo froze in place. The voice appeared and disappeared. Ben looked around with apprehension. He knew this sound, was afraid of it, but every time the voice fell silent for a long time (weeks, months), for some reason, he was waiting for its return.

-I will not become a Sith. - The boy said quietly, but firmly, addressing to … the voice? himself? Anyone?.

After standing for a few moments in the hope that someone or something would answer him, Ben pulled his shoulder, frowned and hurried to his mother calling him.

R2 sadly whistled and, pushing the antenna, tuned to the frequency of Luke and began transmitting the recorded message.

" _I will not become a Sith_ ," Ben said confidently on the hologram, Luke wearily rubbed his face with his palm, once again making sure that his nephew was clearly influenced.

But by _what_ or _who_? Does the Force continue to joke with their family evil jokes, or is there a new Sith hiding in the shadows?

" _I must convince Leia and Han to send him to the Temple!_ "

The metal hand clenched into a fist.


	5. Chapter 4. Anger.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angry boy.  
> Happy boy.  
> ...and Lor San Tekka

[Shortly before the 10th anniversary of Galactic Concordance. Chandrilla, the Senate building]

Sometimes Ben Solo thought that he knew the building of the Senate of the New Republic better than his own apartment, because he spent a lot of time there, waiting for his mom to solve her endlessly important Galactic problems. Sitting in Senator Ograna's bright reception room and watching tech-droids (who replace some metal panels, check the lamps and contacts at one of the terminals) the boy thought about the parents' ban on getting the first flight category. Even if everyone else thought that the conflict had run its course, Ben still was disappointed. He could discuss this problem with no one, and this just drive him mad. Mother immediately suppressed all talk about speeders, father, tired of quarreling and putting up with Leia a hundred times a day, flew into another "business trip", Uncle Luke drove back to the Temple of the Jedi. The only person who could listen and understand him was Poe. But he hadn’t seen his sworn brother for several months.

\- What’s taking so long? - Ben muttered under his breath, throwing another glance at his hand-watch. - We'll be so late…

He looked at his holopad. He had no interest in reading uncle’s notes (stories about sacred Jedi techniques) for the third time. He had already memorized all the schemes of his self-made speeder. Holonet’s videos (all about politics or "entertaining films for children from 8 to 12") were so boring, that the boy had no idea what else to do right now.

\- Breath. Just Breath... - Ben said, trying to drown out the growing anger.

At that very moment, his mother's office doors slid aside, and Ben jerked joyfully. However, a second later, he clenched his hands in fists and frowned. Instead of Leia Organa, an old man - _Lor San Tekka_ \- approached him.

Ben didn’t like this man. San Tekka was kind, wise, intelligent, and the biggest fan of the Skywalker-Solo family. This blind adoration was extremely infuriating for Ben. Lor San Tekka, despite his extensive knowledge of the Galaxy, the Jedi, the Old Republic and generally all-all-all, always seemed to the boy an overly enthusiastic admirer of Luke and Leia.

"I _f it depends on only him, he would arrange marches in honor of your mother and pray to the statue of Luke_ ," as Poe Dameron joked. Ben was not up to jokes. Yes, the Force exists. Yes, there are still Force-adepts in the galaxy and, probably, there will never be a moment "without adepts". Nevertheless, is this a reason to bow in an almost prayerful ecstasy before his mother and uncle? They are only humans after all. Yes, they are bright leaders and the mythical Force is very strong with Skywalkers, but… They are just people - with their weaknesses, fears and problems.

" _They are not Gods, San Tekka. Neither Luke, nor Leia, nor anyone else from the adepts. Please, stop convince my son that he's the chosen prince. He and you without enough attention._ " – once Han said to Lor, when Ben was little boy and did not yet understand what his father was talking about.

Ben much better understood everything now. For a ten-year-old boy he was generally extremely smart.

\- Your Highness, Prince Ben. - Lor San Tekka bowed in front of the boy.

The always noticeable ears of Ben blushed, and an embarrassed, evil glow stuck to his cheeks. Ben took a huge effort to restrain himself and not snort.

\- I asked you not to call me that, sir San Tekka. - Solo said, but did not reply to the bowing, did not even nod of his head slightly. - My mother is no longer a princess, Alderaan is destroyed, and I'm not a prince, and I doubt if I will ever be crowned.

The old man straightened up and looked at the boy with a smile.

\- Alderaan is alive, while at least one person from this planet is breathing in the Galaxy. As long as there are people loyal to the house of Organa and your mother, you _are_ and you will be a prince. Whether you like it or not.

Ben gritted his teeth and bit his tongue. He did not want to start a verbal skirmish with the old man.

\- Where is my mother? - Solo demanded, changing the subject. - Do not tell me she's delayed. We are already almost late.

San Tekka motioned him out of the waiting room and said:

\- In that case, my prince, I will say that your mother instructed me to escort you to the Academy, wait for Master Dameron and take you both home. Princess Leia will arrive in the evening.

\- It is _so_ delightful! - Ben muttered with sarcasm.

Reluctantly the boy moved to the elevator, San Tekka followed him.

"Really, what did I expect?" - Ben thought bitterly. - "Everything as usual. These stupid negotiations are more important for her. What can they talk about for so long? "

Boiling with anger, hands trembling, Ben struck so hard on the first floor button that it creaked sadly. From under the control panel, several sparks flew out, and the lamp in the elevator blinked a couple of times.

Lor San Tekka frowned and said:

\- My prince, please, calm your anger. Your mother is one of the most influential people in the New Republic. Without her, negotiations with Mon Calamari can come to a standstill. The question of the delivery of humanitarian aid has not yet been resolved, since the old supply routes have recently been subjected to too frequent attacks by smugglers. If the Senate do not solve the problem in the near future, then the whole nation of Mon Cala will be endangered. The economy of the New Republic is young and not stable, like the Republic itself. You should understand that ...

\- I have many things to do or to understand! I know! - Ben shouted.

He was not going to scream, he simply could not restrain himself. The tears of scarcely restrained resentment and anger came to his eyes. Ben turned away from the old man, thinking that if it all was up to him, he would have run into the parking lot, would have jumped on the first speeder and had flown to meet Poe immediately.

-  I'm sorry you're upset, Your Highness. You are still too young and do not understand much. - San Tekka sighed sadly and closed his eyes for a moment. - You should learn to control your anger, my prince. Otherwise, once you risk tasting all the bitterness of falling on the Dark Side of the Force.

Ben flinched. Something like this was uttered to him by his uncle.

-  I'm not going to become a Sith, Mr. San Tekka! - Ben growled, there was no way to moderate anger in his voice. - Well, you probably know, that in the near future I'll go to Master Skywalker and start my Jedi trainings.

The old man laughed, it’s only inflaming Ben’s anger. The lamp in the elevator again blinked. Ben thought that even the insensitive San Tekka should feel the Force cracking and resenting.

For a brief second there was a bright picture before Ben's eyes - a burning village flashed in a red glow in the middle of the desert and there was lifeless body of Lor San Tekka spreading out on the sand.

For a very long few seconds genuine fear spread in the boy's chest like cold sticky liquid. Shaking his black curls, Ben forced himself to throw off the haze of vision and return to the present.

Still chuckling Lor said to the young Solo:

-  My prince, I strongly doubt that any of the Jedi has ever intentionally intended to become a Sith. At first comes fear, then anger, and then falling into the abyss of despair becomes inevitable. It's not that conscious choice, a young gentleman, but sometimes for a Jedi it is only one option, poor circumstances or someone’s dark manipulation. And then… newborn Sith has to play by other rules and follow a different morality. The goals and means are changing. This is the whole point ...

The elevator, with some kind of vile metal sound, stopped on the ground floor of the Senate building. The old man and the boy hastily left it and in complete silence reached the parking of the speeders. Seated in the back row of the maxi-speeder, Ben, who had already calmed down a little, decided to raise his eyes to the old man.

San Tekka looked infinitely sad, terribly tired of everything and incredibly old. His shoulders trembled and he quietly continued, referring either to Ben, or to himself.

\- However, not long ago, a powerful Jedi risked plunging into the secrets of the Dark Side to save his beloved. Nothing good came of it.

\- But Jedi cannot fall in love. It’s forbidden. - Ben said in bewilderment. - Or rather, my uncle told me that romantic love for the Jedi is banned just because of the temptations of the Dark Side, but every Knight of the Order personifies the guardian of peace and unconditional love, the love of life and people of the Galaxy. What did he say? Oh, yes. That's it: Compassion is the main thing for a Jedi. But, I do not understand if love is a good feeling, then how can a man, who is in love with someone, come to the side of Darkness and Evil? There is no logic here!

Lor smiled. Ben quoted Luke Skywalker, but it's unlikely that even a very smart ten-year-old boy really knew what he was talking about.

\- In words, everything sounds simple. However, in reality this is not so easy. One day you will understand, my prince. All of us, eventually, have to face this blessing and curse at the same time. Loving someone is difficult; it requires a lot of emotional impact. For those sensitive to the Force, such an experience can be extremely dangerous. A feeling capable of raising anyone, also capable of plunging careless Force-adept into the very depths of the darkest passions. In place of sincere admiration comes thirst for possession and greed, in place of tenderness - lust, in place of trust - jealousy and doubt. It is incredibly important - is a person ready for sacrifices in name of love? And more importantly, is person ready to give it up, to let go and leave, if it is necessary or be better for beloved?

For some reason Ben felt very uncomfortable. They were silent for some time.

\- Is it difficult to love? - Ben finally asked. - I love my family. And it's not difficult. Even when I'm hurt, I still love them. Romance ... I do not think that someday I will need it. Girls are not interesting at all. True, my father sometimes says that one day, when I grow up, I will meet " _my Leia_ ". This is hardly likely. My mom is one in the galaxy.

San Tekka chuckled, but did not reply. The old man thought that it was worth returning to this conversation in about 10 years or even 20 years.

***

Ben was incredibly happy when the maxi-speeder finally reached the parking platform at the Galactic Academy. The platform was full of people, because today was the end of the semester, the cadets were met by parents, and everyone went home for a month.

Solo shook his head, looking for the curly head of his sworn brother. Where is Poe?

Poe saw Ben first and immediately noted that the younger brother looked too tired and angry. Next to Solo stayed old man San Tekka, behind the wheel of the maxi-speed driver sat the personal pilot of Senator Organa, and Leia herself was not visible.

\- Fuck ... - Poe cursed, instantly realizing that Leia was again on very important negotiations in the Senate and had sent Lor instead of herself.

Dameron always found San Tekka as interesting old man and showed him respect, but the fact that Ben disliked San Tekka left its imprint on Poe’s behavior. Most of all, he was concerned about Ben's state of mind. They had not seen each other or talked for several months. Apparently, if for Poe everything went quickly, imperceptibly and even happily (oh, he had something to tell the younger Solo), then Ben seems to have hard time during these weeks.

-Ben! Little brother!

Solo finally noticed Poe and his plump lips stretched out in a smile. A couple of seconds, and Poe, after pushing everyone in his path, found himself near Ben, huged the boy by the shoulders and ruffled his hair. Boys were the same height and Poe noted how much Ben grew up.

\- You need to get a haircut, or soon I'll be able to braid your braids! - Laughed Poe, pulling his brother by the curling lock of black hair.

\- Cut your own hair, Curly! - Ben muttered in an offended tone, but did not stop smiling.

\- Milord San Tekka!

He saluted to the old man in a Cadet manner. Lor looked at the boy, noticing how Poe grew up. Lor smiled, noticing how much Poe looked like his father. Gestures, facial expressions, a wry smile are just a copy of the famous commander Kes Demeron, but the eyes… just like his mother's - strong and brave Shara.

\- Young men, let's not waste our time, I must take you home. - Lor said, climbing back into the maxi-speeder. - Your Highness, Mr. Dameron, if we do not want to get caught in a traffic jam, we need to fly right now!

\- I've asked you hundreds of times not to call me _like this_ , Mr. San Tekka! - Ben hissed.

\- Please, forgive me, my prince. You should understand that the old people are stubborn and lazy, and therefore they always call things, people and events by their own names.

He struggled to keep from laughing, Ben flushed with embarrassment, or with anger. Young Solo was going to keep silent all the way, because he did not want to discuss absolutely anything in the presence of the Lor, but he was quiet for ten seconds, no more.

\- This is a new uniform, Poe. And stripes. Apparently, you raised in rank. This means that you either very well passed the graduation exams at the rate or do something on the flights. - Ben blurted out, looking at the green-blue Dameron‘s uniform and the fresh shoulder straps.

Poe looked extremely pleased with himself, as if he had eaten up to the dump like a Loth-cat.

\- Both. - He drawled. - I performed the Antilles’s Loop on an old training X-wing, knocking down 14 of 17 goals. 

Ben's mouth dropped open.

\- No waaaay...

\- Yeah! You should see the expression of the examiner's faces. Ha!

\- And instead of being punished for doing the prohibited for junior courses of admission, you were encouraged. Brilliant idea! - Ben snorted with sarcasm.

Dameron cocked an eyebrow.

\- What? What's wrong with that? Would you have punished me in their place?

\- Maybe. - Ben said thoughtfully. - You're a future military man, Poe. In the army discipline and subordination is the key to success. If the soldier does not execute the team, it is a bad soldier.

\- It's a bad soldier who does not know how to act creatively in a difficult situation. - Dameron retorted. - Oh, come on, Ben; do not think that I always break the rules. I know when to shut up and do what are said.

\- Oh. No, you’re absolutely not! -  Solo laughed.

Poe enthusiastically were telling Ben how he passed exams this year, when the maxi-speeder parked near the Organa-Solo’s apartment. On the parking platform they were met by C-3PO and R2-D2.

\- R2! R2-my-dear-D2!

After jumping out of the speeder, Poe ran to the astromech, who met him with a joyous trill.

\- Who's my favorite old droid? - Poe squatting down in front of P2-D2 and put his palm on the top panel.

\- Beeeeeeee. Be-Beeeeep! Uuuuuu!

Ben grinned, coming closer.

\- But, R2, you are truly old.

3PO, meanwhile, exchanged compliments with San Tekka, and Ben could not resist comparing the twoof them (not in favor of the San Tekka). Lor wanted to stay, but C-3PO, with his usual straightforwardness, gave the old man the order of Leia "please, return to the Senate immediately." Lor San Tekka obeyed the will of the adored princess. He said goodbye to the boys and flew away.

\- Master Poe, it's good to see you, sir! - The protocol droid posted a bow to the boys. - Master Ben, your mother sent a message that she will arrive in 50-60 minutes. I ordered a dinner. I suggest you with Master Poe to wash your hands and start eating.

Slamming the protocol droid over the metal shoulder, Poe rushed into the apartment; he so wildly missed this place that he could not wait until he was back here again. The time in Academy was good. It was interesting, difficult, and informative. There were friends and admirers, and Larin Tez (oh, this Mandalorian girl - Larin!). But _the home_ was here. The smell of Alderaan lilies and Correlian roses, bright rooms, garage filled with a heap of iron trash, an old Han’s jacket that no one dares to throw away, Leia's shoe shelf. Everything here was well known and loved. For this place and - more important - for the people who lived here, Dameron was ready to give his life without hesitation.

While C-3PO unpacked the cadet's stuff, Ben and Poe persuaded lunch at a mega speed. Poe, wearing in a home robe, found Ben  nervously shifting from foot to foot in the corridor.

\- Let's go to the terrace, I'll tell you about the scar of Brandon Karrie. – the elder boy smiled brightly.

\- Did he himself make a scar or did you help? - Solo raised an eyebrow. - And by the way, let's go to the garage, I have a surprise for you.

The future pilot laughed and followed his brother.

\- Brandon and I fought, and I cut his eyebrow. He broke my lips and broke the rib. - Picturing the fight, Dameron entered the garage. - This idiot, thank all the gods, did not run to complain, so we managed to avoid severe punishment. But Larin now cannot take her eyes off me. But in fact, because of her in the first place was a fight...

The young man stopped short in mid-sentence, when his gaze fell on a miracle-self-made speeder. He immediately forgot about the girl and about his rival in the Academy, and in general about everything.

\-  Fuck me by the Rancor! - Dameron burst out. - Where from?.. How?.. Is it … real? Levitates? What is this for crap? Are these flaps from a fighter? Really?! And where you got the titanium shield, they're terribly expensive. Is this all Han give to you? What about the fuel tank? Have you tried it already?

All these questions were poured by an endless stream from the mouth of Dameron, who was running around the speeder, peered at the car under his belly, grabbed a screwdriver and started to unwind the reflector.

Ben did not respond in a hurry. They had days and weeks ahead for endless conversations, assembly and disassembly of the speeder. At this moment, Solo was really happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 2nd part of originally Chapter 2.  
> Original story contains 9 chapters (32,939 words)  
> All fanfic is already finished. I translate it slowly, sorry(


End file.
